Movie review thread

[IRSISRSRI]

I saw a pretty awesome movie to kick off this thread.

La Bete (The Beast) 1975 from France.


OK, it's from the 70's and France so you know already you have yourself a dirty movie on your hands. But this one is even more special!

The movie starts with pornographic detail of horse intercourse (more graphic than most modern pornos) and ends with pornographic detail of woman - manbearpig intercourse.


What's in between isn't that important.


The manbearpig (im serious, there's some mythical creature that looks EXACTLY like manbearpig) penis prop was very detailed, and you could tell they were proud of it because they kept zooming in on it. It could also grow, shrink, and ejaculate fake semen, it really was a feat in engineering.



The dirtiest movie I have ever seen. More dirty than Lady Ninja: Reflections of Darkness. And for that, it earns a very special place in my heart.

[TAT]

God I hate film reviewers sometimes.

From todays Herald Sun

JCVD Fact and fiction are mashed together to bizarre effect in this French-produced fantasy about 'the secret life' of action man Jean-Claude Van Damme. Gets off to a ripping start, but loses traction by getting too high-concept for the star's fanbase. Subtitled.

2.5 stars out of 5.

I mean, fuck, that is by far the poorest assumption-based review in history.

My review:

JCVD

Van-Damme shows off his talents as an actor? You bet your arse he does.
He's awesome; the film could have been a little better in parts.
His monologue is actually brilliant and (from what I've read) very true to life.

8/10

[mittens]

Condescension from a film elitist!? When did DC get a job at the Herald Sun?

[El Tigre]

The Devil's Rejects - 6.5/10

This was much better than House of 1000 Corpses. I actually enjoyed it. It has lots of boobs (Rob Zombie likes boobs!) and RZ's wife is hot!

Halloween - 7/10

RZ just get's better with each film he makes. Mike Myers is a really scary character, especially as a kid. Unfortunately, I haven't seen the original, so I can't compare them, but this was pretty cool. And boobs. Bloody boobs!

[Jeremy's Dick]

Blue Velvet - 9/10

Scary :|

Mulholland Drive - 10/10

I got a HUGE boner during the lesbian scene omfg

[eintein]

Halloween - 7/10

RZ just get's better with each film he makes. Mike Myers is a really scary character, especially as a kid. Unfortunately, I haven't seen the original, so I can't compare them, but this was pretty cool. And boobs. Bloody boobs!

Wow. So you thought House of 1000 Corpses was crap and Halloween was good...I do not understand.



@TAT David and Margret actually gave JCVD a good score, for movie reviewers they actually seem to actually get it right, what normal people would actually like .

[IRSISRSRI]

Naked Lunch


I can think of 2 things wrong with the title of this movie

[rampaging bowie]

whoa i think i saw a book about that movie

dont think i'd want anything to do with some guy called "william s burroughs" though.... (who has ever heard of him????????? noone. give me stan lee thanks)

[rampaging bowie]

Blue Velvet - 9/10

Scary :|

Mulholland Drive - 10/10

I got a HUGE boner during the lesbian scene omfg
blue velvet is better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck you

[Jeremy's Dick]

You've never been turned on, so what the fuck would you know?@

[rampaging bowie]

uhh ive been turned out by the dennis hopper scenes in blue velvet so you should probably shut your gay mouth now

[Jeremy's Dick]

lazlow's UNUSED treadmill = never been turned on u get the fcking joke u LUT cunt?

[rampaging bowie]

i forgot it was my username

[rampaging bowie]

what is in a name??? does it really old much importance?? not to me

i am what i say & do

e: *hold

[Jeremy's Dick]

poor form, go choke on your mummys dic

[rampaging bowie]

stfu

[Quatterarbro]

Halloween was not that good Maxi.
Girls were hot, but fucking annoying.
There were boobs though.

[AndrewFoersChumpington]

Mulholland Drive - 10/10

I got a HUGE boner during the lesbian scene omfg

Me too, movie made no sense whatsoever though.

[Jeremy's Dick]

Me too, movie made no sense whatsoever though.

It makes sense if you realise *sppoilers* the whole first two hours are Diane Selwyn's dream.

[TAT]

@TAT David and Margret actually gave JCVD a good score, for movie reviewers they actually seem to actually get it right, what normal people would actually like .
I really need to start catching their show.

[Spudzilla]

It's great when you hear one of them say "Well, I thought the film was just wonderful"

[eintein]

My dad and I tuned in a few weeks ago just to hear the exact words David used to describe how shit Year One was and giving it one star.

We weren't disappointed.

[AndrewFoersChumpington]

My dad and I tuned in a few weeks ago just to hear the exact words David used to describe how shit Year One was and giving it one star.

We weren't disappointed.

http://www.abc.net.au/atthemovies/txt/s2589524.htm


In a primitive village at the dawn of time Paleolithic hunter-gatherer Zed, (JACK BLACK) eats an apple from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Believing himself to be The Chosen One, he sets out with his friend, Oh, (MICHAEL CERA), on an epic quest for enlightenment.

This dismal, visually drab, so-called comedy is strictly for people who still think Jack Black is funny. Director, Harold Ramis says he was inspired by memories of Mel Brooks’s memorable television appearance as the TWO THOUSAND YEAR OLD MAN, but comparisons are odious to say the least.

The film plays like a sort of poor man’s Monty Python, without any of the wit of the British team. The protagonists encounter Cain and Abel, Abraham and Isaac and various other characters, but the humour is confined to stale anachronisms, fart jokes and toilet humour – in other words, this is aimed squarely at 12-year-olds.

JACK BLACK labours mightily to little or no effect. MICHAEL CERA was ill-advised to wear that silly wig; and it’s really sad to see an actor of the calibre of Oliver Platt involved in this stuff.

YEAR ONE makes WILL FERRELL’s LAND OF THE LOST look like a masterpiece.I am amused.

[adam_91vn]

Never watched Mulholland Drive is it any good?

[AndrewFoersChumpington]

Worth it for the lesbian scene, but I'm not really a fan of David Lynch.

[mittens]

Eraser Head was his best imo. Really freaky movie.

[Jeremy's Dick]

Never watched Mulholland Drive is it any good?

Yep, definitely.

And it's only $6.99 at Target right now (until the 8th of July)

Magnolia is also only $6.99, so for $13.98 you can get two stellar movies.

[adam_91vn]

Thanks will pick them up

[Flexx]

Transformers II: It was all like BOOM, KAPOW! And then Megan Fox runs at the screen and her boobs wobble. 10/10

[Duck Dodgers]

Yep, definitely.

And it's only $6.99 at Target right now (until the 8th of July)

Magnolia is also only $6.99, so for $13.98 you can get two stellar movies.

I picked Mulholland Drive up from Target yesterday...Now I need to set some time aside to consume it's hearty contents. I've already got Magnolia, but I saw it there for that price. So cheap!

I got 3 Looney Tunes dvd's for $20 from there as well. Hot Dog.

[Araenel]

Transformers II: It was all like BOOM, KAPOW! And then Megan Fox runs at the screen and her boobs wobble. 10/10

Hell yeah (h)


Movies I've seen recently:

Happiness: Fucked up shit mang, awesome stuff though. I have no idea how they managed to get through the scene near the end with the dad talking to his son, was there much/any outrage when the movie was released?

"Would you rape me dad?"
"No...I'd just jerk off"

The Savages: Tragic, sad, beautiful. I have no idea how I'd cope with a kid with a mental disability let alone a parent after living with them for all my life with full mental faculties, it'd be devastating.

Black Snake Moan: Superb story of loss, Jackson was a fantastic cantankerous old man with his awesome blues tunes.

[Duck Dodgers]

Happiness is one the most disturbing films I've ever seen. Phillip Seymour Hoffman's phone etiquette was...curious,

[Araenel]

"I came", one of the best ways to end a movie, the looks on everyone's faces was fucking priceless.

[IRSISRSRI]

Watchmen

Dr Manhattan does it nuclear style! (and it appears he is circumcised)

[Quatterarbro]

The Evil That Men Do

Bronson/Bronson
He's always bad arse.

[Ruda]

My brother's girlfriend was watching some DVDs today when they came over for dinner.

Clueless
Jesus Christ, I can't believe I used to watch crap like this when I was younger.

Mamma Mia
I wanted to stab myself in the dick. If I could switch off, this would be alright, but it's just so fucking retarded. Pierce Brosnan can't sing for shit either. :(

[El Tigre]

Darkman - 9/10

Pretty fucking cool. I was hanging out the whole movie for the Bruce Campbell appearance. I was left hanging right til the end :(

[eintein]

Darkman - 9/10

Pretty fucking cool. I was hanging out the whole movie for the Bruce Campbell appearance. I was left hanging right til the end :(

[Quatterarbro]

Darkman - 9/10

Pretty fucking cool. I was hanging out the whole movie for the Bruce Campbell appearance. I was left hanging right til the end :(

FUCK YOU! Should have grabbed me to watch it!

[El Tigre]

You... you weren't home!

[Araenel]

Star Trek: The Motion Picture: Slow as hell, boring as fuck. This has not aged well compared to Star Wars, although even in its day it probably seemed like a fanservice circlejerk to normal people anyway.

[Duck Dodgers]

Star Trek: The Motion Picture: Slow as hell, boring as fuck. This has not aged well compared to Star Wars, although even in its day it probably seemed like a fanservice circlejerk to normal people anyway.

I think I missed about 30 mins of that film due to imagining all the horrible outcomes of a botched transporter 'beaming'. But yeah, what I remember of the film was pretty underwhelming.

[twofivefour]

It makes sense if you realise *spoilers* the whole first two hours are Diane Selwyn's dream. What's really upsetting is that this was a rushed ending. Mulholland Dr. was going to be a series, and go in a different direction, but Lynch couldn't get the backing. Everything after they use the key was invented purely to end out the movie.

[Jeremy's Dick]

Yeah, it would have been awesome if Mulholland Dr. became the new Twin Peaks, but we can't have everything now, can we.

[TAT]

Angels and Demons

The book (like DaVinci Code) was a good page turner: fast-moving, separate viewpoints, lots of nerdy history/science trivia, upheld the suspension of disbelief (barely).

I understand that parts of the story needed changing, because the LHC had a lot of publicity last year whereas it hadn't when the book was originally written. What's funny is that a lot of the factual information within the book is just there. It's not credited to a particular character, no-one says it, it's just part of Dan Brown setting the scene for the particular chapter. In the movie Tom Hanks says way too much of that stuff aloud, to the point where he comes across as Captain Knowitall, the knowingest man from Knowville. He reiterates facts that are already evident, he shows off his knowledge with no evidence of thought or hesitation at all (like, when you think of a fact, generally you're unsure or you look like you're carefully considering the words coming out of your mouth), and he looks really bored doing it. I don't know whether Tom Hanks is losing his touch or getting eccentric with his almost Godlike level of fame, but the only times he showed any emotion were moments when Langdon was showing off how much he knew to his female sidekick (probably with the hope of hitting that tasty Italian milf).

So yeah, Hanks underplays Langdon, Ron Howard can't direct a thriller for shit, and apparently in Italy it's as bright as noon @ 8pm and pitch black dark @ 9pm. They should have paid attention to the criticism that The DaVinci Code movie received, because too many similar mistakes are made.

4/10

[Silver]

Star Trek: The Motion Picture: Slow as hell, boring as fuck. This has not aged well compared to Star Wars, although even in its day it probably seemed like a fanservice circlejerk to normal people anyway.

I think Wrath of Kahn has fared much better. I agree on the first movie, it definitely hasn't aged well. There was plenty of 'so bad its good' IMO. Wrath of Kahn has definitely aged (early star trek didn't really seem to give a shit about detail), and there are some lulzy parts, but I still found it genuinely enjoyable.

Star Trek with Picard as captain was always the best.

[Moller]

Anyone who won't go and see Jennifer's Body when it's released is a huge faggot.

[eintein]

Anyone who won't go and see Jennifer's Body when it's released is a huge faggot.

More information is required.

[Moller]

Prepare for giant image because a lot of the movie involves this woman as a demon and scenes like this one.

http://purelymag.com/public/Public/Update%20Samples/Megan%20Fox%20-%20Naked%20(tape)%20on%20the%20set%20of%20Jennifer s%20Body%2013.jpg

[Moller]

Her nipples are covered with tape kids.

[Jeremy's Dick]

I'm hanging out for Drag me to Hell, it's gonna be fucking awesome.

[eintein]

Okay, I will be watching this movie.

[Moller]

Yes, me too http://www.realnudeart.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/megan-fox-topless-1-042.jpg

[Sir Faggot Dibs]

Harold and Kumar

I liked it which is saying a lot as I normally hate "teens get drunk" movies. I give it.. NPH/10.

[eintein]

I'm hanging out for Drag me to Hell, it's gonna be fucking awesome.

Well I just read the ending for this movie, that was fun.

[AndrewFoersChumpington]

Has anyone actually seen Twilight? It sounds like overrated crap.

[Quatterarbro]

Harold and Kumar

I liked it which is saying a lot as I normally hate "teens get drunk" movies. I give it.. NPH/10.


It's probably the best stoner movie ever because they take the piss out of all the others!

[Sir Faggot Dibs]

And the main characters are actually likeable. And it has NPH.

[Quatterarbro]

And the main characters are actually likeable. And it has NPH.

Exactly. You could actually relate to them, plus their wacky Jewish friends!

[IRSISRSRI]

Has anyone actually seen Twilight? It sounds like overrated crap.

It's pretty much what you'd expect.


Highschool vampires.

[eintein]

Vampires that aren't affected by the sun because it's "cloudy" all the time.

[mittens]

Yeh when they go in the sun they just go all glittery and gay (gayer then usual). No flames or nothing.

[Quatterarbro]

My Name Is Bruce

Apparently 254 recommended this to us on Friday but I don't remember. Anyways, very happy that Maxi remembered as it's fucking awesome!!
Also the main chick has an awesome rack.

[El Tigre]

My Name Is Bruce

Apparently 254 recommended this to us on Friday but I don't remember. Anyways, very happy that Maxi remembered as it's fucking awesome!!
Also the main chick has an awesome rack.

This was an awesome movie and I thank 254 with many blowjobs (imaginary).

[Lisa]

My Name Is Bruce

Apparently 254 recommended this to us on Friday but I don't remember. Anyways, very happy that Maxi remembered as it's fucking awesome!!
Also the main chick has an awesome rack.

...I have that half-downloaded on my other laptop and forgot...turning it on now.

[TAT]

Yeh when they go in the sun they just go all glittery and gay (gayer then usual). No flames or nothing.
My gf made me rage by reading the part of the book to me that deals with this ENORMOUS oversight:

"Can't walk in the sunlight? Myth."

:rage:

[jerkoff]

hahahAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA your girlfriend read twilight fucken oWnEd

[Moller]

bri read it and she expected me to get more romancey

fuckin novels

[Indiana Banderas]

Firstly;

Goodfellas.

Haven't seen this since ~2000 when I watched it with my Dad. Absolutely loved it. Took note of the scene where Henry Hill gets into the club via the kitchen - what an amazing shot (especially considering it was supposedly an accident!).
Some of the cuts from scene to scene were almost humourous in the sense of the timing/contrast between before/after being so perfect.

Amazing story, amazing film. I want to read the book.

9/10

Secondly...

The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters.

I can't believe how much this movie fucked with my mind. All through it I was almost laughing at the fucking space cadet losers (to be fair, I still am), but towards the end I couldn't believe how much I felt for Steve Weibe.
The guy had it tough and persisted like a mad dog. Sure, he persisted at something that in most peoples eyes is a complete and utter waste of time - but the fact still remains that he did it and was humble the whole way through. Not only that, but he was probably the only human in the entire documentary.
I hope I never, ever see someone wearing weight lifting gloves so they don't get calluses whilst playing games or lifting weights on a stick for a video game related event.

Mitchell/Weibe.

[dark farm]

Yeah King of Kong is great. Billy is so unlikeable!

Last week I saw a bunch of films:

Passengers

Fucking terrible imo. The only point I'm giving it is for Anne Hathaway's enormous eyes.

1/10

-
The Hive

Surprisingly okay, in that 'so bad its great' kinda way. The CG effects are particularly shite, but laughably so, so I can't really mark it down for that.

The script and the acting though? Yeah that's a

5/10

-
Harold and Kumar Escape from Gitmo (no I can't be bothered spelling the actual word)

Not as good as the first one. Thank christ they didn't stick around in Gitmo too long - that would've gotten old. Good to see NPH back for another cameo.

6/10

-
Scary Movie 3

So much better with David Zucker at the helm imo. Some classic moments which have nothing to do with parody (ie. the best bits) so I'd say

7/10

-
Final Destination 1 and 2

Brilliant, in a very simple kinda way. The second one I particularly like as it's got red herrings galore.

8/10

[Indiana Banderas]

Yeah King of Kong is great. Billy is so unlikeable!

I learned to dislike just about everyone in the show except Steve Weibe. Billy Mitchell looks so familiar as well. A wiki/imdb search comes up with nothing relevant, so I'm not sure where else I've seen him. He looks like he should be on Days of our Lives

[Jeremy's Dick]

Bruno - 6/10

Nowhere near as good as Borat, and even then I didn't think Borat was that great. Prepare to be disappointed.

(One bit is super-fucking funny, though)

[mayo]

[REC] - 9/10
Brilliant, can't wait for the sequel later this year.

Tokyo Gore Police - 8/10
The gore gave me a good chuckle. Pretty much what I was expecting.

[eintein]

Bruno - 6/10

Nowhere near as good as Borat, and even then I didn't think Borat was that great. Prepare to be disappointed.

(One bit is super-fucking funny, though)

David and Margaret gave it one star and three 1/2 stars respectively, now I don't know what to think!

[TAT]

Final Destination 1 and 2

Brilliant, in a very simple kinda way. The second one I particularly like as it's got red herrings galore.

8/10
Number 3 is much of the same: a great movie to laugh at.

bri read it and she expected me to get more romancey

fuckin novels
lol

Jackie is reading it and knows that Meyer has made out the vampire man-guy to be this incredible, beautiful creature -- and she dissed the movie guy (Cederic Diggory) for not being that handsome. ha

[AndrewFoersChumpington]

They should have cast me.

[meatrocket]

Waltz With Bashir.

Soul crushingly depressing/10

[Dastardly]

Waltz With Bashir.

Soul crushingly depressing/10
Oh yeah.

Still, excellent movie.

[Moller]

Jackie is reading it and knows that Meyer has made out the vampire man-guy to be this incredible, beautiful creature -- and she dissed the movie guy (Cederic Diggory) for not being that handsome. ha

Tell that to his thousands of teenage fan girls

[jerkoff]

a recent facebook status update feed I intervened on:

M: is excited about new harry potter!
S: boring
M: harry potter rules!
S: needs more edward cullen <3
J: cedric diggory was in the fourth film you idiot.
S: omg i <3 harry potter

i can't wait til she finds out he dies (l_m_a_o)

[dark farm]

The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button

Waaaaaaay too long. I thought it was based on a SHORT story!

4/10

[El Tigre]

Standing In The Shadows Of Motown - 8/10

Pretty damn good, and very interesting.

[El Tigre]

I am currently watching Ultraviolet. It is quite possibly one of the worst movies ever. If it weren't for Milla Johovich, I would probably stop watching it.

[El Tigre]

Milla Johovich in tight pants. I would go her so hard.

[Ruda]

I stopped watching. She wasn't enough reason.

[Lazlow]

She has the chest of an 12 year old girl, what more reason do you need!

:harold:

[Vindik8or]

It's not a movie where she bares it?

(The Fifth Element was responsible for most of my 12 year-old boners)

[El Tigre]

Fuck me. I think that movie could be just as bad as Bloodrayne, that's how bad it is. Stow is right, it isn't worth it even for Jovovich. I mean, she's hot as fuck... but the movie is so shit!

1/10 (the 1 is for Jovovich in tight pants).

[El Tigre]

Dracula 2000 - 6.5/10

Overall not too bad, but not great either. Some hot chicks in it.

Top Gun - 9/10

Fuck me this is one of the gayest movies I have ever seen in my life. It is awesome! I loved the whole thing!

[El Tigre]

Darkman 2: The Return of Durant - 5/10

Decidedly average in every aspect.

[Duck Dodgers]

You should watch Dracula 3000 next. It really fleshes out the Dracula universe like you'd expect from a film about vampires in space. After all, the tagline puts it nicely..."In Space, There Is No Daylight". That makes sense.

[IRSISRSRI]

I'm watching 28 Days Later on channel 7


god damn eco terrorists.

[mittens]

Shoot 'Em Up
Fucking awesome. One of the best action films in the past 10 years.

[meatrocket]

Hellboy
Quite a bit better than I remember. Then again, I knew nary anything about the character when I first saw some of it. Damn fine movie.

[NiB]

Transformers 2

I didn't expect an oscar worthy pick and I wasn't disappointed, Megan Fox and Isabel Lucas need to make brokeback mountain 2

[Lisa]

Top Gun - 9/10

Fuck me this is one of the gayest movies I have ever seen in my life. It is awesome! I loved the whole thing!

You've lost that lovin' feeling, Maxi.

Fuck me. I think that movie could be just as bad as Bloodrayne, that's how bad it is. Stow is right, it isn't worth it even for Jovovich. I mean, she's hot as fuck... but the movie is so shit!

1/10 (the 1 is for Jovovich in tight pants).

Is it true that movie has Gun-Kata in it?

[Lazlow]

Gun Kata 2.0

[eintein]

Bruno

Sure, it isn't as good as Borat, a lot of it is shock value that probably won't be as funny on rewatches, and yes quite a many of the scenes were set up, but damn if I wasn't laughing the entire way through.

Minus a point for disgustingly disgusting breasts.

8/10

[Bad Mother Arse Lover]

Dante's Peak

Fuck, the 90's disaster movie fetish was terrible. Worse yet is Brosnan seems to run around, narrating everything happening around him, as if this were an adaptation of a radio play. And he doesn't even do it in his smouldering sexy voice like in that Simpsons Halloween special, he just sounds annoying and out-of-breathe. Also, I've seen enough interpretations of a volcano explosion at this point. Like studying dinosaurs and aboriginals in primary school, It's really not interesting anymore.

2/10

[Duck Dodgers]

Bruno

Sure, it isn't as good as Borat, a lot of it is shock value that probably won't be as funny on rewatches, and yes quite a many of the scenes were set up, but damn if I wasn't laughing the entire way through.

Minus a point for disgustingly disgusting breasts.

8/10

I saw it last night and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. There were a couple of jokes that fell flat, or were just crap, but for the most part it held it's own. But yes, predominantly shock value.

Spoilers
The beard in the bag and the ministers line in regards to the baby were hilarious.

[Vindik8or]

Like studying dinosaurs... in primary school, It's really not interesting anymore.

2/10

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

[Indiana Banderas]

Heat

Saw this for the first time the other night. Not as jaw droppingly awesome as I'd been led to believe, although that's not to say it still wasn't a pretty great flick.
The scene where DeNiro and Pacino go for coffee was pretty fantastic.
I also didn't care much for DeNiro's 'love'. The way it ended was pretty well done, but I could've just as easily enjoyed the film without any of her in it.
Another thing - after the big shootout, there was probably 20-30 minutes of film where absolutely nothing interesting happened. Really felt like it dragged on a bit from that point on.
Still, was pretty enjoyable and the shootout scene was spectacular.

8/10.

- - - - -

Young Guns

My Dad wanted me to get this and watch it with him as he remembered it as being pretty entertaining. Entertained I was!
Sure, it wasn't a brilliant film and it felt a little rushed in parts, but the regulator team were pretty fluffin' cool (despite the fact that they're all terrible shots).
Charlie Sheen's character dying was a little unexpected and unwanted. I wanted to see him develop a little more as I knew nothing about him other than the fact that he was the leader.

Interesting little fact for those that have seen it;
Towards the end, when Charlie goes to that prostitute - they cut the scenes telling the little side story, but that's actually his mother in the film. She doesn't know it, but Charlie did. That's why he just wanted to be held. He knew he was going to die and wanted to see his mother. :(

6/10.

- - - - -

The Kingdom

I watched this one tonight. Heard it was pretty entertaining, didn't really know what to expect. Fuck me, it blew my expectations away! I thoroughly enjoyed all of it and found myself liking all the protagonists.
The big shootout scene was pretty spectacular, not once did it seem way over the top, but it was still fuckin' intense (and correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't it done by the same guy who directed the big shootout scene in 'Heat'? Michael Mann?). Regardless, it was a great scene.

I guess it was pretty expected, but I really didn't want Faris to die. I quite liked him. :(

7.5/10.

[Quatterarbro]

Shoot 'Em Up
Fucking awesome. One of the best action films in the past 10 years.

Fuck yes.


Top Gun
Queer as folk at Mach 1.

Bruno
As said, not as good as Borat and won't really hold up to repeat viewings but I was pissing myself throughout the movie.

Harold and Kumar
Best Stoner Movie ever.

Harold and Kumar 2
Not as good as the first, but it does have more boobs.

Shark Hunter
Worst. Shark Movie. Ever. If you thought Shark Swarm was boring, think again. This piece of turd makes Shark Swarm look more like Shark Attack 3!

[mittens]

Bruno
As said, not as good as Borat and won't really hold up to repeat viewings but I was pissing myself throughout the movie.
See, I found Borat didn't stand up to repeat viewings, which is why I was expecting the same from Bruno.
I watched Borat at the cinema the day after opening night and thoroughly enjoyed it. Then my mate got it on DVD when it first came out and I watched it again and thought it was pretty average. Then I watched it on Foxtel some time after and couldn't even watch the whole thing.

[Lazlow]

Burn After Reading

Typical bizarre black comedy from the Cohen Bros. I probably could've enjoyed it more if I didn't have a headache. That said Malkovich's character started to annoy the shit out of me which his constant repetition of "What the fuck?!".

Standout was definitely Brad Pitt, the man is a masterful character actor.

Entertaining, but not the greatest.

[Florin]

Top Gun - 9/10

Fuck me this is one of the gayest movies I have ever seen in my life. It is awesome! I loved the whole thing!

Just in case you haven't seen them yet ...

xHklGtW3rwU&hl

vyN8VN4BSzM&hl

[AndrewFoersChumpington]

Haha Tarintino is great, I won't be able to look at that movie the same again.

[Bad Mother Arse Lover]

Twister

Cheesy soundtrack + cloud fly-though credits + dumb 'twister killed my father' story (with questionable dialogue/acting to match) = classic. It's a good 'nuff story which could have made for a pretty decent serious film but what they did instead works too.

7/10

[El Tigre]

Punisher: War Zone - 7/10

Not as good as the Tom Jane Punisher, but better than the Dolph one... depending on what you're looking for... >_>

[Duck Dodgers]

Cobra

It made no sense but Sly impaled the bad guy on a hook and he was dragged into a furnace. That was awesome.

Apparently, to pass as a janitor...all you need to do is steal his glasses.

No need for the Lil Basterd Diguise Kit.

[mittens]

Moonwalker

Ugh, this was fucking terrible. How did I watch this shit when I was a kid?
It was pretty funny to watch now though as a lot of scenes are made strangely awkward given the whole paedophilia thing and recent death.
Also, I swear that Joe Pesci's character in this movie is where Tim Burton got the idea on how he could best rape Oompa Loompas.

2/5 (+1 for the soundtrack and +1 for the club scene)

[Lazlow]

I remember 2 things about that movie... the awesome Smooth Criminal club scene, and MJ turning into some massive robot thing.

Oh and "Its a plug, its just a plug"

The way he said plug just got stuck in my mind. O_o

[mittens]

Yeah, strangely enough that plug thing stuck in my head as well. I don't know if it was the utter irrelevance of it or the awkwardness of him luring kids into a dark secluded building to 'show them something.'

[Aekman]

Year One

it's pretty much just one bad skit leading into the next. some funnies but overall a pretty sad affair. jack and cera try their hardest but the script sucks too much. kinda wish i didn't see it at the movies but it's worth renting.

[Quatterarbro]

Punisher: War Zone

IMO Ray Stevenson is the best Punisher. As far as an action movie is concerned, Tom Jane has the best and the Dolph Punisher is best for comedy. All three are worthwhile movies!

[Ruda]

Bruno
It really doesn't survive repeat viewings.

[Quatterarbro]

Bruno
It really doesn't survive repeat viewings.

Yeah. It's piss funny the first time, but like Borat I assumed on repeat viewings it would definately lose alot of the humour. IMO you need to space repeat viewings out over a long time so you forgot what happened in the movie.

[Lazlow]

I saw Borat twice in the cinemas and twice on DVD in the year it came out.

Never again since.

[Lisa]

Moonwalker

Ugh, this was fucking terrible. How did I watch this shit when I was a kid?
It was pretty funny to watch now though as a lot of scenes are made strangely awkward given the whole paedophilia thing and recent death.
Also, I swear that Joe Pesci's character in this movie is where Tim Burton got the idea on how he could best rape Oompa Loompas.

2/5 (+1 for the soundtrack and +1 for the club scene)

Girlfriend lent this to me the other week.


Beggining bit with the kids and the chase scene after it were shit.

Leave me Alone is a pretty cool clip though, iv'e always liked Smooth Criminal most of my life. Everything before and after the club scene was shit, while the club scene is fucking awesome.

I liked the cover of Come Together, would have been nice if they had more of Dirty Diana though.

Not gonna rate this thought since it's barely a fucking movie.


But anyway, saw IceAge 3 today with her, not as good as the first two but I enjoyed it.

3/5

[Sir Faggot Dibs]

Bruno
It was okay. Some bits were funny, while some were just awkward (the scene with Ron Paul comes to mind), and some I was surprised he even made it out alive (the terrorist scene, and the UFC scene). There were a surprising amount of old people and children in the cinema. :3

[Duck Dodgers]

Detention

I don't know how many of you guys would have heard of this, but it's an action film starring Dolph Lundgren. Amazing.

"To be or not to be, that's the bitch"

"Surprise!"

Motorbike / wheelchair chase scene. Wow.


:dolphgasm:

[eintein]

I don't know how many of you guys would have heard of this, but it's an action film starring Dolph Lundgren.

:explosion:

[mittens]

All Through The Night

Never seen it before but figured it had to be good with Bogart and Peter Lorre. Was not disappointed. Lesson to be learnt: Don't fuck with a man's cheesecake. Also would totally wreck 1940s Kaaren Verne.

4/5

[El Tigre]

Bandidas -9/10

yDhGWIhxYyQ

[Duck Dodgers]

Bandidas -9/10

yDhGWIhxYyQ

I hired that film when it came out. I watched about 10 minutes of it and the skipped to all the good bits. Hot.

[Aekman]

harry potter 6

surprisingly good. i went in expecting it to be as bad as previous efforts, painful acting and all, but it was a huge improvement. the acting was mostly pretty decent with a few really good performances, and they left enough of, or rather the right parts of, the book in the movie to do the book some justice. it had the right mix of awkward teen romance and darker elements which made it work.

4/5

[jerkoff]

tbph Harry Potter 3 kicks arse and I will be surprised if this film manages to top it.

[Aekman]

the only problem with 3 (and pretty much all of them) is the terrible acting. particularly from harry and hermione. other than that i would agree.

[jerkoff]

It really isn't that bad. 1-3 is ok because the characters are still very much children. It's once 4 hits and they start actually having to convey character growth that everything goes to hell. Radcliffe honestly has no natural chemistry with anyone in the films and it really becomes painfully obvious during the triwizard cup crap.

[eintein]

That's strange, general consensus seemed to be HP6 was the worst of all the films.

[jerkoff]

I don't know what this general consensus crap is, critically it's no worse than HP4 or 5, it's probably just everyone having a bitch again because their favourite moment got left out or "it wasn't how i imagined it therefore it is shit".

I refuse to finish reading the books until the movies have been all released, because I love film as an art form and I'd rather judge the HP films on their merits than constantly be comparing them to the lofty standards of my own imagination.

[eintein]

Oh I'm going by critic reviews, rather than Jenny Luxon, age 15, who put a review on her Facebook page, pretty much all say it's poorly directed and made and isn't very engaging compared to the previous films.

[jerkoff]

metacritic is at 80 (?) and tomatometer at 89.

the latter is the same as HP3

>_>

[eintein]

And by critic reviews I mean David & Margaret.

[Jeremy's Dick]

Fresh: 133

Rotten:16

= Critically PANNED!

I believe you mean that Harry Potter 6 is the worst of all the books, which is a lie because that honor goes to #5.

[jerkoff]

the worst book, film and concept is by far 4.

[Jeremy's Dick]

And by critic reviews I mean David & Margaret.

MARGARET: David?

DAVID: Well, Margaret, you'll be amazed to hear that I've never watched the Simpsons.

MARGARET: You're a Simpson's virgin?

DAVID: I'm a Simpson's virgin. I mean, I've heard about it. Friends of mine have been urging me to see it for years, and I'm sure they're right, but I just have never got round to it.

MARGARET: Oh, for goodness sake.

DAVID: So it all came as very fresh to me and I thought it was extremely funny. I loved this family and all their quirks. I loved all the, as you say, very knowing references to current events and so forth from...

Can you really trust a guy who has to be one of the only people in the entire developed world not to have seen an episode of the Simpsons prior to seeing the Simpsons Movie?

[Aekman]

the worst book, film and concept is by far 4.
imo 5 was clearly the weakest book. if it wasn't for the ending (and a few tie ins) it would be utter crap. i'd recommend finishing the books first, the movies really do ruin the experience. and i'm a movie person too, i barely read books.

[jerkoff]

Nah, I did it with LotR and I have no regrets.

[Jeremy's Dick]

It's funny that #5 was my most hated book but it was the movie that I liked the most?

Not really that funny actually.

Ron Weasly fangirls piss me OFFFF.

[Aekman]

the reason sloppy is because the book drags on for waaay too long and the movie obviously cut out all the crap :P

and likening harry potter adaptations to lotr ones is a huuuge mistake. but it's your call javer.

[jerkoff]

im not likening it. I'm just saying I've done it before and I didn't care.

I've read HP1-4 after each movie and I'm quite happy to continue this methodology.

[El Tigre]

Airheads -7/10

I found this funny. I shouldn't, because it has Adam Sandler and Brendan Fraser, but I did. It's also the only way I'd ever become famous ;_;

[Moller]

Emma Watson is considering quitting acting after Harry Potter. Which is fine because aside from being moderately attractive she is actually a really shit actor.

[El Tigre]

I would fuck Emma Watson.

[eintein]

She should pull a Nikki Webster and tour the men's magazines circuit after her child career went nowhere.

[Moller]

I never said I wouldn't have sex with her.

[TAT]

Book 5 was an overzealous, overconfident and poorly written paperweight and I couldn't agree more that there are only a few crucial plot developments.

For my money, none of the movies have been any higher than 3 stars atm: Movie 3 loses points for completely failing to establish the Patronus Charm as anything other than the most important spell next to Expelliarmus.

I don't think you can be too hard on Radcliffe for his acting, seeing as he was chosen purely for his physical resemblance to the title character; apparently his experiences with theatre has only helped the quality of his acting which is a relief because arguably the most emotional moment of the entire series is in Book 6.

I must say that I have always found Dumbledore 2.0 to be the wrong actor for the part; his demeanour lacks the sympathy and the gentleness of the book version of the character, shouts too many important lines and is overall too aggressive (for my imagining, anyway).

I've always been bothered that much of the plot of the final book revolves around plot elements that aren't mentioned or alluded to anywhere in the previous six; far too convenient.

[Vindik8or]

As someone who is not a fan of the books, the third movie is by far the best. The others simply do not come close to it in any way.

[jerkoff]

^Classic neckbeard opinion of someone who imagined the films differently than how they were made.

[jerkoff]

i am of course referring to The Angry Neckbeardian's post, and not Vin's correct and agreeable opinion.

[Udder Failure]

I dont know, but being someone who has read the series, i found that the movies were just nowhere near as good, especially due to Dumbledore 2.0 being to aggresive for the role. Dumbledore was soft spoken, not a screaming maniac

[jerkoff]

in complete honesty i do not think it changes the important aspects of the character at all.

[Udder Failure]

But he was so soft and gentle in the books, it made the times he got pissed and used some kind of magic more special and interesting, as opposed to movie Dumbledore, who i suspect will go ape shit and destroy hogwarts one day with as many spells at his disposal.

[Jeremy's Dick]

In this case, Javer 3.1 is wrong because what others have said about the 'newer' Dumbledore is correct - there's no joy, cheek or fun in this guy's voice, the playfulness that can be felt throughout the books is all lost through his shit voice and tone.

Dead Dumbledore was much better, but still not fantastic.

[jerkoff]

a difference of opinion i am shock

[Jeremy's Dick]

a difference of fact

[Aekman]

personally i thought michael gambon (ii) was better than richard harris (i) even though gambon wasn't exactly the dumbledore from the books. i just felt like harris was too old and frail and i've always hated his monotone. whereas gambon although a little too aggressive in speech at least came off as the badass whom voldermort would actually fear.

[Quatterarbro]

Detention

I don't know how many of you guys would have heard of this, but it's an action film starring Dolph Lundgren. Amazing.

"To be or not to be, that's the bitch"

"Surprise!"

Motorbike / wheelchair chase scene. Wow.


:dolphgasm:



What?
Where do you think :dolph: came from?
It's the bit at the end where he tells the Principal he'll be back Monday!

I'm pretty sure most of the forum has seen it.

[eintein]

Quatters I think he was being sarcastic. >_>

[Duck Dodgers]

C'mon Quatters!! Do you think I'd not think it was odd that there is about 15 smileys of the pivotal moment in the film if I really thought you guys hadn't seen it !?

http://myspace-483.vo.llnwd.net/00667/38/44/667474483_m.jpg

I want that to be a smiley.

[El Tigre]

Pet Sematary - 8/10

This was actually a pretty good movie. I was expecting cheesy 80's bullshit, but I actually enjoyed it. It built up well and yeah. Coolies! Except I don't want to turn my light off now ;_;

[Lisa]

Pet Sematary - 8/10

This was actually a pretty good movie. I was expecting cheesy 80's bullshit, but I actually enjoyed it. It built up well and yeah. Coolies! Except I don't want to turn my light off now ;_;

Because of zombie-kids?

[Silver]

Saw Bruno on wednesday.
Lots of gay, but very amusing. I definitely need to watch it again.

[Quatterarbro]

Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

Evil Dead/Buffy style comedy horror with normal people. Pretty good watch!

[IRSISRSRI]

Pet Sematary - 8/10

This was actually a pretty good movie. I was expecting cheesy 80's bullshit, but I actually enjoyed it. It built up well and yeah. Coolies! Except I don't want to turn my light off now ;_;

The sister scared the pants off me as a kid. I still get butterflys to watch this movie because of how traumatized I was then.

[El Tigre]

But the sister is normal. I thought she was kinda cute >_>

Her in 2004, btw:
http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTI0MDM4NTc3Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNDA2NDgy._V1._ SX450_SY301_.jpg

[Quatterarbro]

jkYuK3AKrxc

Is there anything as inspiring as this in the two current Transformers movies combined?
I think not.


10/10

[Bad Mother Arse Lover]

Galaxy Quest

To infinity and ...never surrender! Also every time Alan Rickman speaks and he's not on-camera, you think it's Marvin. Still one of the most epic sci-fi films ever, though.

10/10

[TAT]

Tales of the Black Freighter

Faithful to the original and a lot more chilling.

[El Tigre]

Heavy Metal Mind=blown

What. The. Fuck. I have no fucking idea man this movie was brilliant all it needed was that we should have gotten 20 apple pies instead of 7 but yeah awesome!

[Sir Faggot Dibs]

Galaxy Quest

To infinity and ...never surrender! Also every time Alan Rickman speaks and he's not on-camera, you think it's Marvin. Which of course makes it one of the most epic sci-fi films ever.

10/10

fixed

[Bad Mother Arse Lover]

Watchmen

Fuck, it's even better the second time 'round. Also cannot figure out WTF is people's problem with Malin Akerman (sp). Her acting was fine. Her mother's acting was atrocious, however. Seriously one of the best films I've ever seen, despite some of the writing. I still maintain that the pacing was fine.

10/10

[Lazlow]

Righteous Kill

Pacino and Deniro team up again, but unlike Heat they share pretty much all the screen time. And unlike Heat, the movie is not as good. The problem I find with a lot of movies with these big dramatic twists, is they are horribly telegraphed, so the inevitable conclusion feels shallow. Its like they want to make the audience feel validated; essentially make them feel smarter than they are.

Performances range from great to woeful, with nothing standing out as spectacular. The inclusion of Fiddy was genius marketing but horrible casting, there are plenty of better well known african-american actors who could pull off that role. But Deniro and Pacino seemed to just go through the paces in this film, whereas in Heat the chemistry was palatable. The inclusion of Oleg Takatarov had me marking out though.

In the end an enjoyable film, but not one for the ages.

[El Tigre]

Missing In Action - 7/10

While it has Chuck Norris, it doesn't have as much action as it should.

Reign of Fire - 7.5/10

Pretty cool movie. Batman, Leonidas, and that dude in all those romantic comedies fighting dragons.

[Duck Dodgers]

Missing In Action - 7/10

While it has Chuck Norris, it doesn't have as much action as it should.



I saw this about a year ago. There was a classic moment near the start where someone in Chuck's battalion gets shot. Chuck shoots the shit out of the Vietcong who shot him and then looks at his comrade's corpse and nods approvingly.

[Indiana Banderas]

The Hurt Locker

I've been wanting to see this film since I first saw the trailer at the beginning of the year. The story is nice and refreshing considering it's another 'US Soldiers in Iraq' movie. I found the characters to be engaging all the way through and it was great to see the relationships blossom during the 30 days in 'Camp Victory'.

The movie certainly met it's expectations. Some of the scenes had me holding my breath in anticipation of what was about to happen - very fucking tense.

If I had to pick a couple things I didn't like about the movie, it'd be...

#1 - The scene where he's going through a box of stuff that almost killed him. The wedding ring joke was so horrendously obvious... and then he reiterates what the ring dangling on the chain is implying by saying 'Like I said, stuff that almost killed me.'. Yeah - I got it the first time. No need to explain the joke. I know it's just me being picky, but it really annoyed me.

#2 - The entire scene where the Doctor decides to go on patrol with the company. It was obvious that he was gunna die (or at least something happen to him) from the minute he asked if he could tag along. Then he wanders off whilst in the target zone and starts talking to civilians and it was all just like a dagger of obviousness stabbing me in the face.

Other than those two little pet peeves, the film was certainly very watchable and I enjoyed it a lot.

8/10.


Knowing.

Before I knew anything about this film, I let curiosity get the better of me and I read a spoiler that TMNT posted in relation to this film about a week ago. I didn't mind as I thought I'd never end up watching it anyway. Jump ahead two days and a friend tells me I have to watch it and hands it to me. Pretty ironic that it's called 'Knowing' and I knew what was going to happen from the start. :?

The storyline was interesting and could provide a fantastic premise, but I feel the directing/acting let it down and because of that I was unable to be immersed by it all. It all just felt a little rushed and didn't really set an atmosphere with the in-between moments of all the key points in the film.
I also felt that they left too many things unexplained until the very end (those who've seen it will know what I mean). By no means a terrible movie, I just don't think the way they chose to portray it all was really the best plan of attack.

The final 3rd of the movie felt especially rushed, unexplained and above all else - bizarre.

The visuals in the final few minutes were pretty amazing though. The alien world looked lovely, I'd kill for a hi-res shot of the tree/surrounding area.

Everything being engulfed in flames looked pretty amazing too. :O

Overall, it was an average film. A decent storyline let down by a poor portrayal of it all.

5/10.

[IRSISRSRI]

Watching the original Dawn of the Dead.

Wow this movie is dated.

[Bad Mother Arse Lover]

Just watched I, Robot again. Say what you will about the product placement and Proyas tying the camera to a rope and swinging it around his head; it's a damn fine film.

[TAT]

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Purely filling to get the kids to their last year of Hogwarts. This movie is a lot better than the previous ones, but the more you think about what was left out of changed, you can't help but think "Oh, yeah...".

But before I started going all book v movie, it was up to at least 8/10 in my book.

[Ad-Rock]

Transformers 2

Was expecting shit. It was awesome.

7/10

[El Tigre]

Appaloosa - 9/10

Excellent.

Frankenhooker - 2/10

1 point for lots of boobs. 1 point for when the old woman yells "WHAT?" at the beginning.

The Cutter - 8/10

Chuck Norris throws a guy out of a window and the guy makes the Nutri-Grain Iron man scream. Also, Chuck Norris is "serious. Like a heart attack".

Camp Rock - 1/10

Even Demi Lovato can't save this movie.

[IRSISRSRI]

Frankenhooker - 2/10

1 point for lots of boobs. 1 point for when the old woman yells "WHAT?" at the beginning.

Wow. You suck.

That movie had exploding hookers and you give it a 2?

and Frankenhooker was hot.

[Spudzilla]

Bruno - 8/10

The dancing dick was awesome.

[El Tigre]

Wow. You suck.

That movie had exploding hookers and you give it a 2?

and Frankenhooker was hot.

I was seriously expecting this movie to be great. It was shit. It had lots of boobs, which was good. But I wanted hilarity WHICH IT DIDN'T DELIVER!!

[IRSISRSRI]

Bruno - 8/10

The dancing dick was awesome.

I concur. That was damn funny.

I liked the parents of the child models and the swingers party.


"Straight Dave's Man Slamming" was alright. But I felt a little unsatisfied.

[IRSISRSRI]

I was seriously expecting this movie to be great. It was shit. It had lots of boobs, which was good. But I wanted hilarity WHICH IT DIDN'T DELIVER!!

What's not funny about a hooker exploding, then her decapitated head flys into her pimp, knocking him out with a headbutt?

[Duck Dodgers]

The Cutter - 8/10

Chuck Norris throws a guy out of a window and the guy makes the Nutri-Grain Iron man scream. Also, Chuck Norris is "serious. Like a heart attack".


Yeah, that bit was cool, but the film had hardly any action in it. It was just Chuck getting around being a good humanitarian.

[IRSISRSRI]

The new Mike Tyson documentry is pretty good. Actually, it's not great but the fact they have Mike Tyson talking openly about everything makes it awesome! I could watch just about anything about Mike Tyson.

[TAT]

The Wicker Man (2006)

Sometimes Nicolas Cage overacts and makes a movie more enjoyable, sometimes he overacts and makes a movie less enjoyable, and sometimes he overacts and the movie comes across as really wierd. Not creepy wierd, like the intention of the story, but just wierd. Like, you question the character's logic as he goes about his decision-makng process.

What I wouldn't give for some Leelee Sobieski nudes. Holy shit

Oh, and I saw the theatrical version, the ending of which alludes to a continuation of the cycle (of men being lured to the island as sacrifice). The DVD release has the "BEES IN MY EYES" scene.

[GNOMAGE!!!]

Hannah Montana

(1)/10

[eintein]

You watched it with Maxi didn't you? )h(

[GNOMAGE!!!]

Fuck, I was in Sydney when I saw it, totally should've invited him. Then I wouldn't have been the only male over the age of 7 in the cinema.

[Ad-Rock]

Zack & Miri Make a Porno

7/10 Very Funny.

[Udder Failure]

Fuck, I was in Sydney when I saw it, totally should've invited him. Then I wouldn't have been the only male over the age of 7 in the cinema.

Maxi would have loved it.

[IRSISRSRI]

Transformers 2

FUCK YEAH

That was AWESOME. EVERYTHING EXPLODED.

At first I was worried just some stuff would explode, but EVERYTHING exploded.

They cut to different places and people randomly so fast you never knew what the hell was going on, and there was explosions everywhere, then slow mo of Megan Fox, then MORE EXPLOSIONS.

Then they did heaps of awesome stuff like show US military blowing shit up. And whenever it wasn't in America everybody was living in sand huts with chickens and goats walking around. FREEDOM!!!

It's an hour later and my mind is still going 100MPH. Micheal Bay is the artistic genius of our generation.

[Quatterarbro]

The Gift

The most confusing fucking movie I have ever seen. Even Katie Holmes tits barely saves this from making sense. What the hell? Why was there no closure? The guy from Fast and the Furious was dead, how did he save her? Had a million cameos, there was everyone in it! And her dead husbands name was Ben Wilson, the very dead husband who happened to be married to Aunt May WHO WAS IN THE MOVIE!

[Duck Dodgers]

The Punisher (Tom Jane version)

I finally got around to watching it... I don't know what I did right, but my girlfriend wasn't against hiring it*, so I happily grabbed my chance to see it with both fists.

It has a lot of awesome scenes. Where's Wally muscle man with the swing of Babe Ruth. Arrow through neck. Guillotine chop. Blade shooting knife trick. Brilliant.

I'm sure pretty much everyone here would have already seen it...but if not, do it.

27 and half knifes though jugular / 28.

*the other films I grabbed were Out for Justice, Rambo 2 and Over the Top. I was trying to stir her and she surprised me. Hot dog.

[TAT]

Hard Candy

I'd go as far to call this a good vehicle for Ellen Page to have displayed her acting skills, but that doesn't necessarily means it was good overall. I think it might have been about 20 minutes too long for just the two actors to play off each other (104 minutes); see Phone Booth to see the 'two actor movie' done well. And I say that about Hard Candy because there was about half an hour in the middle where fuckall was happening. Some parts just made me question the logic behind it as well, like we're supposed to believe that a 14yo girl has the ability to SPOILER>independently track down the two guys responsible for her 'missing' friend, who they presumably raped and murdered<ENDSPOILER? yeah. So I guess even if you can get past that little niggle it's not too bad, just a bit boring.

6/10

EDIT: And just a random opinion on acting in general: actors are definitely overpaid, but fuck their jobs are hard (if they're a good actor). I mean, humans in general are meant to be able to tell the difference between sincere and insincere emotions, and Page had me hook line and sinker even though I knew where the story was headed.

[Bad Mother Arse Lover]

Yeah, acting ust be a dog of a job. Besides the potential curse of celebrity, it's difficult enough to summon appropriate reactions in day-to-day interactions. Having to do so on behalf of someone else, convincingly, on queue and at the plausible extremes must be utterly exhausting, let alone ego-destroying. Plus the vast majority of actors struggle to eek-out a living, anyway.

[Sir Faggot Dibs]

Zack & Miri Make a Porno
Very funny, I particularly liked Jason Mewe's performance.
Dutch Rudder/10

Chasing Amy
Went from a funny movie to a dramatic one about half-way through the film, but luckily the drama was well written and sustained my interest.
Lesbians/10

[Quatterarbro]

The Punisher (Tom Jane version)

I finally got around to watching it... I don't know what I did right, but my girlfriend wasn't against hiring it*, so I happily grabbed my chance to see it with both fists.

It has a lot of awesome scenes. Where's Wally muscle man with the swing of Babe Ruth. Arrow through neck. Guillotine chop. Blade shooting knife trick. Brilliant.

I'm sure pretty much everyone here would have already seen it...but if not, do it.

27 and half knifes though jugular / 28.

*the other films I grabbed were Out for Justice, Rambo 2 and Over the Top. I was trying to stir her and she surprised me. Hot dog.


Kevin Nash is The Russian, not Where's Wally!


Also, seriously, The Gift is not worth watching even for Katie Holmes boobs.

[Duck Dodgers]

http://www.punisher-movie.com/images/pictures/movie/large/51.jpg

Found him.

[El Tigre]

Friday the 13th - 8/10

Was not expecting that. At all. Where was the hockey mask?????

Beowulf and Grendel - 6/10

Kinda average. It does have Leonidas, which is plus.

[twofivefour]

Drag Me To Hell

I spent a lot of this movie laughing. I also spent a lot of this movie watching and being distracted by Sam Raimi's visual style (rotating slow zoom, smash cuts, sustained gross-out shots). It definitely felt like an old horror movie, especially the ending - a Twilight Zone Twist that you'll spot 10 minutes before the end would normally ruin it, but there's no cutaway before the final payoff.
If I were younger, that would have scared me.

Eyeballs/10

[cubepunk]

Drag Me To Hell


I liked it a lot. Cool ending.

8.5/10

[Gobias Industries]

Also, seriously, The Gift is not worth watching even for Katie Holmes boobs.

"How were Katie Holmes' tits?"
"You know the Holocaust?"
"Yeah?"
"Picture the exact opposite of that."

[Bad Mother Arse Lover]

Ocean's Eleven

Despite Clooney giving off the creepiest vibe and Roberts bringing the totally uninteresting love interest, pretty good heist flick.

6/10

[Quatterarbro]

"How were Katie Holmes' tits?"
"You know the Holocaust?"
"Yeah?"
"Picture the exact opposite of that."

He exaggerated.
ALOT!

[TAT]

No fucking way. It's probably the greatest topless scene in the history of cimena

[Quatterarbro]

No fucking way. It's probably the greatest topless scene in the history of cimena

No way!
It's too short and not focused enough.

[Lazlow]

Nothing to write home about now...

http://img174.imageshack.us/img174/3333/katieholmesnipslip.jpg

even still, the scene from The Gift is hardly the greatest topless scene ever. Hell, Euro Trip has better norks.

[AndrewFoersChumpington]

http://www.mrskin.com/data/features/179/winslet-titanic-1.jpg

[mittens]

http://www.rowthree.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/eva_green.jpg

If only her areolas didn't look like freshly sliced pastrami...

[TAT]

BUT THAT MAKES THEM EVEN MORE TASTY

[Lazlow]

Yeah I don't get guys and their aversion to areolas bigger than a 10c piece... :/

[Duck Dodgers]

Eva Green is splendid.

[El Tigre]

No way!
It's too short and not focused enough.

It only wasn't focused because you were stoned you faggot.

[Dick Car Derby]

http://www.rowthree.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/eva_green.jpg

If only her areolas didn't look like freshly sliced pastrami...

http://blogs.smh.com.au/travel/Venus_de_Milo.jpg
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0b/HBCandyGrap.png

[Duck Dodgers]

Alright. Steven Seagal's movie 'Kill Switch' is finally out on dvd.

I saw the dvd screener version of it, so it may be a little different in the final dvd cut, but ultimately, it should still be hilarious. Seagal throws a bad dude through a window and you get to see it 12 times! And the clown eats a kid. And Seagal has a Southern accent in the first scenes...then doesn't for the rest of the film. And what the fuck is up with the ending.
I very much look foward to hearing back from at least one of you douche's about this film. Do it.

[El Tigre]

How many fucking films does Segal do a year? Seriously. I've been working at this video store for about 2 months, and we've had 3 new movies from him.

[Duck Dodgers]

He's been churning out 2-3 a year for the past 6 or so years.

I'm pretty sure he's signed with Paramount now (Ruslan is his 1st Paramount film) so it may decrease a little. Sony, who he'd been with since 2002ish seemed to happy with any old shit.


Then again, Paramount did release Shark Swarm.

[Moller]

http://www.rowthree.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/eva_green.jpg

If only her areolas didn't look like freshly sliced pastrami...

Perfect.)h(

Also nothing wrong with

http://rickyscelebs.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/11/katie_holmes_the_gift_1mod2.jpg

[Quatterarbro]

Bullit

Fapping to the car chase scene again and again.
God it's an amazing sound, plus the fact that it's not special effects, just Steve McQueen being bad arse.
Mustand vs Charger R/T *fap* *fap* *fap* *fap*
Seriously, this is just blatant pornography!

[Quatterarbro]

Death Proof

The chase between the Challenger and the GTO is alright otherwise. myeh

[fagtr8or]

Drag Me To Hell

I spent a lot of this movie laughing. I also spent a lot of this movie watching and being distracted by Sam Raimi's visual style (rotating slow zoom, smash cuts, sustained gross-out shots). It definitely felt like an old horror movie, especially the ending - a Twilight Zone Twist that you'll spot 10 minutes before the end would normally ruin it, but there's no cutaway before the final payoff.
If I were younger, that would have scared me.

Eyeballs/10


yeah definately not a scary film in any real sense, the audience I was with spent much of the film laughing and squirming at the many many gross out shots (some are truly epic). Its typical Raimi style horror though, so if you've seen any of the Evil Dead films, you've basically seen this film.

If you are paying attention to whats happening on screen you will pick the ending about 1/2 an hour from the ending, this kinda lessens the impact of the climax unfortunately.

Another great part was the use of sound in the film, Raimi deliberately went for a very loud mix for many of the effects to the point where it was physically uncomfortable in certain scenes, kind of irritating, but at the same time really helped transfer what the character must be going through to the audience imo

[twofivefour]

Death Proof

The chase between the Challenger and the GTO is alright otherwise. myeh

Go watch Vanishing Point.
Don't watch it for the story.

[IRSISRSRI]

Yeah I don't get guys and their aversion to areolas bigger than a 10c piece... :/

MAN NIPS!

[Duck Dodgers]

Someone watch Kill Switch, ffs.

[Quatterarbro]

Go watch Vanishing Point.
Don't watch it for the story.

Well ahead of you!

[IRSISRSRI]

Raptor

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0292634/

As good as a shark movie.

[Quatterarbro]

Raptor

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0292634/

As good as a shark movie.

Do you know who has this on DVD?
It is better than it sounds, due to being spliced from 5 different films, there's a million inconsistencies. They're raptors, then they're T-rexs then some dissapear, then shit changes and all the actress are porn stars.

Truly 10/10

[Moller]

Dr Hyde: Your lady friend isn't a very good poker player,
Sheriff. She's just revealed her hand.
Barbara Phillips: Actually, I prefer dominoes.

[IRSISRSRI]

Do you know who has this on DVD?
It is better than it sounds, due to being spliced from 5 different films, there's a million inconsistencies. They're raptors, then they're T-rexs then some dissapear, then shit changes and all the actress are porn stars.

Truly 10/10

FEAR WILL NEVER BE EXTINCT!

[Quatterarbro]

Vanishing POint

Guy runs from the cops in a Challenger he's supposed to deliver to San Fran. A car/chase movie with all sorts of existential themes. Also has a reasonable amount of nudity and drugs. Also some hilarious queers! Even if you're not into the car porn it is interesting enough.

9/10

[TAT]

Spiderman 2

I really like this movie. I don't know why, but the trials that Peter goes through (as hokey as they can be at times) really resonate with me. The main actors play their parts with conviction (except for Franco, who seems too much a caricature of a spoilt rich kid) which only helps create an aura of believability. There are many manufactured emotional moments, but they totally sucked me in; what can I say? I'm a fucking sap.

9/10

[Ruda]

I gave up on Spiderman because of the second movie. I still can't believe that anyone liked it at all.

[Grimace]

I gave up on Spiderman because of the second movie. I still can't believe that anyone liked it at all.

Agreed.

Third movie was even worse - although I just think it was a 2 and half hour Raimi troll to the production company.

[TAT]

National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets

Amazingly, there is a market for this kind of shit.

3/10

[eintein]

You people suck, the second Spiderman movie was the high point of the franchise, did everything in the first movie better, and Doc Ock was absolutely brilliant.


Anyway, late last night I watched some movie called D.E.B.S.

A bunch of 'schoolgirls' in plaid skirts and knee high socks who are actually all super spies and shoot huge deagles and stuff, and the supervillian is played by Jordana Brewster who is actually a lesbian and the whole plot of the movie is her hooking up with one of the spy schoolgirls.

And yes you see them making out.

10/10

[twofivefour]

I did a little research on the film. It's both a high point for queer cinema and one of the worst movies of 2005. It's a remake of a 9 minute short film. It has Lyle the Intern (from Letterman), and Devon Aoki playing French. This was something I didn't mind watching.

And I turned it off after half an hour, because it felt like it was going to end up in "generic queer cinema" territory. That's where more weight is given to the "Oh my god, I'm a lesbian and it's OK" plot than the opening premise and storyline, and it manages to suck some of the humour from the film and kill boners.

[eintein]

See, one part of my brain thought that, and the other half though about the fact that there were girls making out with each other.

[TAT]

Underworld

I still can't believe a movie about a vampire/werewolf war is so fucking uninteresting. It's night all the fucking time (and yeah, I know about the sun/moon thing, but even Buffy and Angel featured daylight at some point; there were also transitions that showed the passing of days which this film never fucking does). The action scenes are so fucking bland, too, like where was the 'money shot' (and I'm not referring to Beckinsale, obv )h()?

I suppose the actors weren't too bad, and the final fight where Viktor gets massive on Michael is pretty cool (except for the totally shit vampire/werewolf hybrid, holy shit was that a terrible design choice or what?).

I'm mostly comparing this to Blade 2, which featured a similar secondary plot (breeding a better vampire) but had a way more interesting cast, screenplay and better action scenes.

3/10

[jerkoff]

spiderman 2 owns, it was not only the pinnacle of the franchise but probably the pinnacle of comic book movies period.

Watchmen could have torn it a new one if Snyder wasn't such a goddamn fanboy following the plot exactly at the cost of making the movie interesting.

[eintein]

Everytime you talk about the plot of the movie I laugh a little at how you've completely missed the point that it's a character-driven film

[Bad Mother Arse Lover]

Initial D

I don't really feel qualified to review car porn. So, um... the subtitles were adequately yellow. SBS2 reception was solid, no pixelated scrambling or cracking audio. Yep...

car porn/10

[TAT]

Child's Play

It's bad, but not terrible. There is so much that could have been done a lot worse, I suppose. It was quite good in the way they didn't do the big reveal until about an hour into the story: before that, it really could have been Andy doing everything.

When I was in Grade 2 or 3, Child's Play 2 really freaked me out for some reason. I watched it at a sleepover, couldn't even sit through it all, then had nightmares for months afterwards. I bought it on VHS a few years ago and conquered my fear by watching it again, but I've forgotten most of so I'm looking forward to watching it again.

[jerkoff]

Everytime you talk about the plot of the movie I laugh a little at how you've completely missed the point that it's a character-driven film
i'm fully aware that it is a character driven film. However its an incredibly boring character driven film because the plot that the characters are within is so incredibly boring and terribly paced that nobody cares enough about the characters to actually enjoy the film.

You seriously have to make a conscious effort to enjoy Watchmen, and no film should be like that.

[eintein]

i'm fully aware that it is a character driven film. However its an incredibly boring character driven film because the plot that the characters are within is so incredibly boring and terribly paced that nobody cares enough about the characters to actually enjoy the film.

You seriously have to make a conscious effort to enjoy Watchmen, and no film should be like that.

Well no doubt the pacing is not consistent but I thought it added to the film in a unique way, giving it a self-contained episodic feel, with the film discourse conveying in real-time part of the story, then almost using ellipses to travel between "episodes" in the story without completely throwing away the important plot points that are contained in that use of time dilation, so as to not completely confuse the audience (though some may say otherwise, these are people who cannot think for themselves and put two obvious connections together "BECUZ THE MOVIE DIDN'T PUT THEM TOGETHER FOR ME!!!!!").

Now the question is whether you like the 'episodic' nature of the film or not, which is a subjective point, but I have no doubt the way the film was paced was intentional, and I quite enjoyed it the way it was.

This leads into your second point about the plot being boring, well, if you don't enjoy the pacing style of the film as I have described above then the plot probably would seem wild and jumping all over the place, and you probably would not be interested by it as a result. I did enjoy that style though, and the plot, while it did have a few inconsistencies and mistakes in writing even given the above, I thoroughly enjoyed.

[Duck Dodgers]

District 9 - Excellent. Excellent. Excellent.